Written by Bennie Mostert

As men and fathers we have to lead. We must make sure that we lead people in the right direction, with uprightness and with a life that is in right standing with God.

First of all, we will have to come to a point where we die to ourselves. As men we want to show our strength, make our stand, show ourselves strong and able. These can be good, but only when they are birthed from the Spirit of God and from a heart of humility and brokenness. This may sound wrong. In worldly terms it is non-sensical. But the spiritual life for the child of God is always a paradox. It is simultaneously strength and weakness.

A life of victory has its beginning in total surrender to God. There is no other place to start. George Müller, a man that God used in remarkable ways, said the following: “There was a day when I died; died to self, my opinions, preferences, tastes and will; died to the world, its approval or censure; died to the approval or blame even of my brethren or friends; and since then I have studied only to show myself approved unto God.” The secret of his life of faith and remarkable results of his ministry, were anchored in total surrender.

As a man of God, it is vital to gain victory in the following five areas:

1. Living in victory over gambling and the use of money
Pray through these verses: Proverbs 28:20 – “A person who wants quick riches will get into trouble.” Prov.15:27 – “Greed brings grief to the whole  family.” Deut.8:18 – “It is God who gives you the power to get wealth.” 1 Tim.6:10 – “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

Gambling is an increasingly common addiction, and so is the irresponsible handling of money. It affects your relationship with God. Scripture warns us against things that are typically part of gambling – love of money, greed, not trusting the Lord to take care of you, making your own plans and trusting your own cleverness, etc.

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you the roots of all irresponsible handling of money in your life. Deal with it. It is a destructive force that will destroy your life and relationships if you do not deal with it radically and severely.

 2. Living in victory over sexual impurity
Read 1 Cor.6:18-20 carefully – “But the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

God warns us in the Bible against sexual impurity because it is so destructive in terms of all our relationships, and it also kills all desire to love and obey God. It is extremely selfish and short-sighted, but the devil often portrays sexually immoral behaviour as “true love”.

If you have any problem in this area, create a small accountability group with at least one or two trustworthy men. Hold one another accountable to walk in purity and holiness, to be wise in handling finances, to have healthy relationships, and in any other areas where you are weak and need help. Deal radically and decisively with immorality – it is a deadly spiritual enemy.

3. Living in victory over anger
Eccl.7:9 – “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” James 1:19- 20 – “Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry – human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

People often do not make much of the problem with anger in their lives. It is seen as an “acceptable sin”. We can normally give a good reason for our anger – it is always other people who are at fault: other drivers on the road, politicians, incapable government workers, behaviour of family members, etc. However, the biggest source of our anger is our self-centredness: other people waste our time or cause an inconvenience to us. Another source can be our greed (not only for money) – “I want more and cannot get it”.

Anger destroys inner peace and does not reflect the character of Christ. The beginning of victory over anger is to admit it is a sin. Pray that God will give you the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23a).

4. Living in victory over rejection and insecurity
Isa.53:3 is such an important verse. Understanding it will bring much healing and restoration to your soul: “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”

There is not a single person who will not experience rejection sooner or later in his life. It is inevitable. Deep insecurity lurks in all of us – all. Only in Jesus, living in him and being hidden with Christ in God (Col.3:3), we will be able to overcome it. The root of insecurity is when we do not know how God sees us and do not understand his purposes for us. Any form of rejection strengthens this.

Only by seeing the all-sufficiency of Jesus we will overcome. Pray for victory – for yourself, your family and friends who struggle in this area.

5. Victory over taking offence
Pray carefully through 1 Cor.13:5 – “Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].”

How common is this among us: taking offence, being offended, resentment. And from there, it increases to bitterness, and in the end we do not want to forgive what has been done or said.

Too often we take offence if someone doesn’t give us a good compliment or acknowledge our hard word, disagrees with our views or do not like our doctrines, or we take offence because of the way that Jesus works with us individually.

How do get victory over taking offence? 1. You have to die to self. 2. You need to know your identity in Jesus. Both of these points are needed, but remember: nothing can replace dying to self. It is the antidote to a multitude of sins and negative emotions.