When Ray woke up that cold, overcast winter morning in Appleton, Wisconsin, he lay in bed thinking life was no longer worth living. The 52-year-old Army veteran had become addicted to the prescription medications he was taking for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and he was struggling with alcohol abuse.
Picking up a gun
Ray decided to try get his mind off his problems by going to a nearby shooting range and firing off some rounds. He called a friend who owned several guns and asked if he could borrow one for target shooting. So, Ray drove to his friend’s house and picked up a 9mm semi-automatic pistol.
Life takes a sharp detour
Ray’s plans to go target shooting took a sharp detour. As if being guided by an unseen hand on the steering wheel, Ray drove into the parking lot of a motel.
He walked up to the motel office, received his room keys and walked around back to the motel room. He entered, sat on the bed, pulled out the handgun, and dropped a bullet into the chamber.
As Ray sat on the bed, his life flashed before his eyes. Scenes from his childhood, his years in the war, his years raising his children – they all flickered by as his finger rested against the cold metal of the gun. “I knew once I pulled that trigger, that was it,” recalled Ray.
Follow Me
Just then, out of the corner of his eye, something grabbed his attention. He turned his head toward the nightstand. Lying there was an open book – a hotel Bible placed by The Gideons. For some reason, Ray was drawn to the Bible. Two words seemed to jump off the page – “Follow me.”
Ray loosened his grip on the pistol. He recognised the text from Matthew 4:19 as the words of the Lord. Ray attended church while growing up, however, what he experienced didn’t reflect anything he wanted to be part of. Even a child can see through the hollowness of hypocrisy.
“Follow You? What have You ever done for me?” At that moment he began to wrestle with God.
Pulled into the boat
Ray was reading God’s Word with a heart that was more desperate for hope than ever. He began to weep. Convicted of his sinful brokenness and his urgent need for a Saviour, Ray fell to his knees, stretched out his arms like a child reaching for his dad, and pleaded, “Lord, if you’ll take this pain away, I’ll follow you for the rest of my life.” In that desperate moment, Ray’s life changed. As he describes it today, “The Lord reached down, grabbed me, and pulled me into the boat. I felt a comfort I’d never felt before. The Lord showed me salvation.”
A child of God
Feeling as if the weight of the world had lifted from his shoulders, Ray drove home. Along the way, he passed Calvary Chapel church. “I knew the Lord wanted me to go there,” he says. That Sunday, Ray experienced his first worship service as a child of God and the pastor of the church became instrumental in discipling Ray and helping him grow in the Lord.
(Original story was shortened.)
Source: The Gideons International
